This is what years of web-development and tax-season stress have done to me…
After falling into a lake 5 miles southeast of the much more well-known Jusenkyo spring, I now turn into a foul-mouthed anthropomorphic walnut every time I get splashed with a three-week-old coffee/martini blend that was mixed by a near-sighted ambidextrous midget wearing a striped goatskin bikini and chanting “I’d like to see a ferret on THAT” in Swahili. Needless to say, this happens CONSTANTLY, and I’m frankly growing quite tired of it.